Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 2
Reaching the true information has been our concern since the beginning of human life. Since then, many scientists have investigated many concepts in different fields of life. The collection of all those knowledge has brought a dilemma that gather scientists and business people to think about in which degree to mention information in their researches or business-related articles. I personally think that it might be crucial to share a lot of information in business world while it is redundant to do it in an academic matter. The current essay will discuss this statement. To begin with, the main feature of being a leader in a business market is to be international as well as to be interactive. So that, companies can be aware of new ideas, trends and strategies to develop the quality and quantity of their work. That is why they need to process a lot of information to create new designs and maybe become unique in their market. On the other hand, the academic world needs specific information to reach new concepts and theories. For example, when I was carrying out a research with some topics from positive psychology, I only needed to cite some key information because of the purpose of the research. If I would mention further information other than I needed, that would be unncessary and time consuming for readers. Therefore, it is more appropriate to use a simple and clear flow in academic papers instead of sharing a lot of information that makes it complex. In conclusion, the business world needs different innovative ideas to make progression in their work, but the academic world needs specific type of data to contribute on their research. Thus, preferring to mention different kinds of information in business-related articles may be more relevant rather than in scientific papers. It is not suprising that many scientific journals have specific word limits for research papers.
Reaching the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has been our concern since the beginning of human life. Since then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists have investigated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concepts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of life. The collection of all
Did you mean "this knowledge" or "those knowledges"?
those knowledge
has brought a dilemma that gather scientists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about in which degree to mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
or business-related articles. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it might be crucial to share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
while it is redundant to do it in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
matter. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
essay will discuss this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main feature of being a leader in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
market is to be international
as well
as to be interactive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can be aware of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, trends and strategies to develop the quality and quantity of their work.
That is
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to create new designs and maybe become unique in their market.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to reach new concepts and theories.
For example
, when I was carrying out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
topics from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
psychology, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needed to cite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. If I
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would mention
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
other than I needed, that would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unncessary
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
for readers.
Therefore
, it is more appropriate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a simple and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
flow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
papers
instead
of sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it complex.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progression in their work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
specific type of data to contribute on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Thus
, preferring to mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in business-related articles may be more relevant
rather
than in scientific papers. It is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
suprising
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientific journals have specific word limits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
papers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts