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Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. v. 1
Some people think that sharing of data is fine in terms of scientific studies, business and education. Others perceive that providing details is too precious to be free of charge. Along with my opinion, this essay will discuss both views if it is not bad to share too much information or to provide such details for free. On the one hand, it is undisputed that business tycoons believed that sharing relevant facts might cause threats with their business profits. Therefore, they make sure that no information will be leak out without gaining in return. For instance, famous restaurants who are known with their trademark of a particular dish will absolutely not share their secret recipies. In my own point of view, I believed that in sharing relevant information for free there should be limitations especially to maintain their uniqueness. On the other hand, it is often considered by many that providing facts based on evidence will help in the improvement of the health care system. Thus, it will lead to more advance treatment like treating cancer. For example, a recent study was conducted in Sweden, in which they discover on how to diagnose Leukemia as early as possible based on the information that had been shared by the Australian researchers. I think that, sharing information have a significant imapacts for the development in the health care facilities. To sum up, it is commonly believed that it is too exquisite to give details for free, but I believed that in doing this it should be limited. While others think that, it is alright to provide relevant facts because it will aide to the innovations of the health care field.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of data is fine in terms of scientific studies, business and education. Others perceive that providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
is too precious to be free of charge. Along with my opinion, this essay will discuss both views if it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to share too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
or to provide such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for free.

On the one hand, it
is undisputed
that business tycoons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
relevant facts might cause threats with their business profits.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
will be leak out without gaining in return.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
restaurants who
are known
with their trademark of a particular dish will
absolutely
not share their secret
Possible spelling mistake found.
recipies
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
point of view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for free there should be limitations
especially
to maintain their uniqueness.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that providing facts based on evidence will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the improvement of the health care system.
Thus
, it will lead to more advance treatment like treating cancer.
For example
, a recent study
was conducted
in Sweden, in which they discover on how to diagnose Leukemia as early as possible based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that had
been shared
by the Australian researchers. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have a significant
Possible spelling mistake found.
imapacts
for the development in the health care facilities.

To sum up, it is
commonly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that it is too exquisite to give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that in doing this it should
be limited
. While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, it is alright to provide relevant facts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
The word 'aide' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will aide
to the innovations of the health care field.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academical world. Others believe that aome information is too important ot too valuable to be shared freely. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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