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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 9
In today's world, there are many people who love to share information with each other and there are many who hide their information. Well, some people believe that it is important to share information with each other. While, others believe that it is better to hide their information. I totally agree with the second statement that it is better to restrict some private information. Firstly, there are many students who have excess knowledge of some subjects. While, there are many who perform badly in some subjects, if they share their information with each other then it will be beneficial for both the students. For example, if one student perform better in Mathematics and another student in English subject, if they share their knowledge with each other than both are doing better in other subject as well. Secondly, there are other people who think that it is better to hide important information from others I agree with that. There are many companies who restrict their information from other companies because of popularity, if they share information with other companies then they will lose their level in marketing. For instance, if one company who are at first position in world they share their secret with other companies then they will lose their position. On the other hand, there are some scientists who do lots of research and find results, if they share their ideas with other scientist then they will lose their job. For example, one scientist invent something for their country if they share the same idea with other scientist then the scientist also invent the same thing as a result it will common invention among two scientists. To conclude, it is true that sharing information is really beneficial for the people, but according to me there are many important information that restricted and it is better to hide this information from others like there are many companies who hide their information for other companies because of security concern.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hide
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, others believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hide
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second statement that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to restrict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private information.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have excess knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. While, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
perform
badly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with each
Did you mean "other than"?
other then
it will be beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For example
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
perform
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "better at Mathematics".
better in Mathematics
and another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their knowledge with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than both are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as well
.

Secondly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from others I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of popularity, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
then they will lose their level in marketing.
For instance
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are at
first
position in world they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their secret with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
then they will lose their position. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do lots of research and find results, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
then they will lose their job.
For example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
invent something for their country if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
also
invent the same thing
as a result
it will common invention among two scientists.

To conclude
, it is true that sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
really
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
according to me there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that restricted and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hide
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from others like there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hide
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of security concern.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
77Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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