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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.8

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 8
Few individuals are of the thoughts that maximum information should be published regarding science, business and education. While it is asserted by rest of the people that some pieces of information are significantly precious, so it should not be accessible freely, I am of the opinion that each aspect of the topic has its own potential reasons which I will write in this essay. To begin with causes of why each information should be present in public. The first and foremost, it is thought that modern research and information provoke people to think innovatively and make further needed advancement in any particular field of work. For instance, fresh and key input of scientific information can open the new avenues of operation of any inevitable diseases are possibly can help to communicate to the dwellers of any outer space planet, thereby concerns of the world population regarding scarcity of residential land can be resolved, if such novel contact prove to be successful in end. Further, presence of critical information can help extremely vulnerable patients to treat serious injuries or diseases and make their lives healthy. Besides these, major organizational issues could be shoot, for example, if a company is in delima, weather any certain product should be produced and market are not, for which, decision is actually depends on one very personal like or dislike. So, if any one publishes survey based information regarding the needs and wants of each individual, so in this way taking such input any business can launch its product and could earn massive profit. However, here are the logical reasons why not to broadcast pivotal information. First, possibly each one could misuse confidential information, like anyone can produce toxic virus or any electronic equipment to murder his own desired target. Here is a realistic illustration of it, couple of years before America knowingly generated nasty virus to affect newly emerging Chinese economy and it got so well that it heavily possed problems to them and Chinese fell near to bottom of development. Moreover, sophisticated information about businesses can harm them badly. Such as, secret and unique production process of any product get leaked, resultantly obvious one’s business will get flopped. To conclude, I am of the opinion that both sides of this scenario carries it’s on massive advantageous reasons.
Few individuals are of the thoughts that maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be published
regarding science,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and education. While it
is asserted
by rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are
significantly
precious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should not be accessible
freely
, I am of the opinion that each aspect of the topic has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
potential reasons which I will write in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with causes of why each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be present in public. The
first
and foremost, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that modern research and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provoke
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
innovatively
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
further
needed advancement in any particular field of work.
For instance
, fresh and key input of scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can open the new avenues of operation of any inevitable diseases are
possibly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to communicate to the dwellers of any outer space planet, thereby concerns of the world population regarding scarcity of residential land can
be resolved
, if such novel contact prove to be successful in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Further
, presence of critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
extremely
vulnerable patients to treat serious injuries or diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
healthy.
Besides
these, major organizational issues could be
Consider using a past participle here: "shot".
shoot
,
for example
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is in
Possible spelling mistake found.
delima
, weather any certain product should
be produced
and market are not, for which, decision is actually depends on one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal like or dislike.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
Did you mean "anyone"?
any one
publishes survey based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding the needs and wants of each individual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in this way taking such input any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can launch its product and could earn massive profit.

However
, here are the logical reasons why not to broadcast pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
First
,
possibly
each one could misuse confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, like anyone can produce toxic virus or any electronic equipment to murder his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
desired target. Here is a realistic illustration of it,
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
America
knowingly
generated nasty virus to affect
newly
emerging Chinese economy and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well that it
heavily
Possible spelling mistake found.
possed
problems to them and Chinese fell near to bottom of development.
Moreover
, sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can harm them
badly
. Such as, secret and unique production process of any product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
leaked,
resultantly
obvious one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
flopped.

To conclude
, I am of the opinion that both sides of this scenario carries
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it’s
on massive advantageous reasons.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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