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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v.7

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 7
These days a ton of information widespread on the Internet. Some people can find the benefit from these data to develop their work or for the education. But others believe that share information freely is dangerous. In my view, sharing these might risky but there are more valuable when compare to the advancement. Many information is valuable more than keep it alone because it could bring the new innovation to this world. The students are one of the beneficiary because their are not many to buy the expensive material. If we want to develop our education, sharing them would to great chance for the students to develop their work or project. For instance, when i was researching my thesis in my school, finding the information on the internet reduce my time to research and give me more time to develop my project. This is one of two advantage for sharing the information freely. Not all of the knowledge are useful. There are some information are dangerous or unreliable. For example, it teach how to make a fertilizer bomb or give a fake information, However, these is just a little data. Many of them are helpful such as the scientific research or about medical and technology or how to do a business. As a result, Many people can use this data for their work or invent some tool that can solve the problem in this day. Furthermore, the students in school and university can find the research more easier to do their thesis. In conclusion, free information also have pro and con but it cannot compare to the benefit. Students, scientists, or researchers themself can bring the information to study and might find new information and share it again. Thus, it seems have more advantages than keep it with on the shelf.
These days a ton of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
widespread on the Internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can find the benefit from these data to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
their work or for the education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others believe that share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
freely
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. In my view, sharing these
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
might risky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are more valuable when compare to the advancement.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is valuable more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could bring the new innovation to this world. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are one of the beneficiary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "there"?
their
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the expensive material. If we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
our education, sharing them would to great chance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
their work or project.
For instance
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was researching my thesis in my school, finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
my time to research and give me more time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
my project. This is one of two advantage for sharing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
freely
.

Not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
knowledge are useful. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
or unreliable.
For example
, it
Did you mean "teaches"?
teach
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fertilizer bomb or give a fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
However
,
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
data.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them are helpful such as the scientific research or about medical and technology or how to do a business.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this data for their work or invent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tool that can solve the problem in this day.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in school and university can find the research
Use only "easier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more easier
to do their thesis.

In conclusion
, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
also
have pro and con
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot compare to the benefit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
, scientists, or researchers
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
can bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to study and might find new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and share it again.
Thus
, it
Probably a preposition is missing after 'seems'.
seems have
more advantages than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it with on the shelf.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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