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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v.6

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 6
We are in the globalisation with the internet networks, people can exchange data to other people in anytime and anywhere by just uploading it for less than a minute. If they decide to share the information for free or charge the money, they need to consider how this will impact on their data, or their organisations carefully. People who decide to share it for free understand the returning in advantages of the new discoveries. They need a further discussing on the information that cannot find any solution. For example, the research of Parkinson disease still cannot know how to cruel the patient. However, in the future, with the better knowledge and technology that developed by somebody might finally find the way to give the treatment for the patient. Accordingly, sharing useful information in scientific research to other researchers, university students, or knowledge people for free is bringing a wonderful outcome to lots of people. However, one of drawbacks of sharing everything is that the data they published might bring more cost to the companies. In some cases, sharing secret information, the organisations may get less profit in their businesses. For instant, the minute of board committee including the price quotation of the vary suppliers. If suppliers know how much price that others offer to sell to their customer, the customer may need to pay with higher prices than they should pay. In the conclusion, sharing information to other people need to decide between the pros and the cons of how the impact would be on their organisations. I strongly agree to share as much as information in scientific research and academic world while the information in business should be careful to share.
We are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
with the internet networks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exchange data to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in anytime and anywhere by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
uploading it for less than a minute. If they decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for free or charge the money, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to consider how this will impact on their data, or their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
carefully
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
it for free understand the returning in advantages of the new discoveries. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
further
discussing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that cannot find any solution.
For example
, the research of Parkinson disease
still
cannot know how to cruel the patient.
However
, in the future, with the better knowledge and technology that developed by somebody might
finally
find the way to give the treatment for the patient.
Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in scientific research to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
researchers, university students, or knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for free is bringing a wonderful outcome to lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, one of drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
everything is that the data they published might bring more cost to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less profit in their businesses. For instant, the minute of board committee including the price quotation of
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'vary' is correct. If 'vary' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the vary
suppliers. If suppliers know how much price that others offer to sell to their customer, the customer may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay with higher prices than they should pay.

In the conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to decide between the pros and the cons of how the impact would be on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
as much as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in scientific research and academic world while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in business should be careful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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