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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.12

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 12
Knowledge has been the most significant part of our lives to improve ourselves for centuries. Someones claim that information should be shared in all circumstances, whereas other people believe that intelligence costs and should not be obtained easily. This essay will discuss both ideas. Firstly I will explore the benefits of the sharing information and secondly will discuss which kind of information should not be sharable freed. On the one hand, some kind of knowledge can help everyone up to date. Moreover, it gives whole people a chance to get the latest data. Thus, anybody might contribute science, business or the academy. It also provides equal opportunities for humans all over the world, even if they live in the poorest country. In this way, A doctor, for instance, who live in a country that cannot afford the suitable knowledge of healthcare, can reach information to treat their patients. On the other hand, much intelligence requires payment to be produced and be maintained. There are a lot of people whose contribution in science is undeniable fact need money to maintain their life. If they do not earn money, they will not have conditions to generate and to produce. In addition, certain types of information which is about explosive can be harmful for all people, if they are gotten freely by wrong hands. For example, some terrorist groups can reach free information to produce bombs on the Internet. This type of material should not be allowed to share on the Internet. In conclusion, in my opinion any sort of knowledge can be obtained by everyone and be sharable to improve our society with the exception of science of explosive. People should not underestimate the power of intelligence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
has been the most significant part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves for centuries. Someones claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be shared
in all circumstances, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that intelligence costs and should not
be obtained
easily
. This essay will discuss both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Firstly
I will explore the benefits of the sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and
secondly
will discuss which kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharable
freed.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone up to date.
Moreover
, it gives whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the latest data.
Thus
, anybody might contribute science, business or the academy. It
also
provides equal opportunities for humans all over the world, even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the poorest country. In this way, A doctor,
for instance
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a country that cannot afford the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of healthcare, can reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to treat their patients.

On the other hand
, much intelligence requires payment to
be produced
and
be maintained
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose contribution in science is undeniable fact need money to maintain their life. If they do not earn money, they will not have conditions to generate and to produce.
In addition
, certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which is about explosive can be harmful for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if they
are gotten
freely
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
terrorist groups can reach free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to produce bombs on the Internet. This type of material should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to share on the Internet.

In conclusion
, in my opinion any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can
be obtained
by everyone and be
Possible spelling mistake found.
sharable
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our society
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
science of explosive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should not underestimate the power of intelligence.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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