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Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.11

Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 11
It is believed by many that information pertaining to scientific research, business and education world should be shared as much as possible. While the rest believe that a part of information is very much crucial or too valuable and cannot be shared the freely. According to me, it is not a good idea to give away data as it can affect the profits of the multinational companies as well as confidential data in the hands of a terrorist is a huge risk. More availability of informative data would ensure that there is more knowledge about the certain concept or information among the majority part of the population. This will lead to better understanding with long term effects of it. Not only this, data can reach out to the far off world where it may not reach in the first hand. For instance, freely available education would enable poor or remote living population to access it or there could be more inputs or feedbacks on scientific research by the general public. There are also open source projects available on google for IT professionals. It would be a positive outcome in terms of progressing towards a better world. But what would be the negative effects if the information is made public to such wide variety of audiences? Apart from sensitive data reaching into the hands of a wrong person such as terrorists, it can also lead to business loss as big firms may wish to create product from a scientific research outcome. Also, the majority of educational institutes benefits from paid customers. For example, many big universities or private tuition centres won't sustain if such data are available without any cost. Thus, it won't be feasible to have free info available. To conclude, sharing information related to business or technical fields could benefit the humanity by enabling them with more knowledge, it could be dangerous and harmful for big companies profit. In my opinion, it is better to share only the information which is not classified as vital.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
pertaining to scientific research, business and education world should
be shared
as much as possible. While the rest believe that a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much crucial or too valuable and cannot
be shared
the
freely
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to give away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
as it can affect the profits of the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as well
as confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in the hands of a terrorist is a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.

More availability of informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
would ensure that there is more knowledge about the certain concept or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
among the majority part of the population. This will lead to better understanding with long term effects of it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
can reach out to the far off world where it may not reach in the
first
hand.
For instance
,
freely
available education would enable poor or remote living population to access it or there could be more inputs or feedbacks on scientific research by the
Consider using "public".
general public
. There are
also
open source projects available on google for IT professionals. It would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome in terms of progressing towards a better world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what would be the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is made
public to such wide variety of audiences? Apart from sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
reaching into the hands of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
person such as terrorists, it can
also
lead to business loss as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
firms may wish to create product from a scientific research outcome.
Also
, the majority of educational institutes benefits from paid customers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
universities or private tuition
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
won't sustain if such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
are available without any cost.
Thus
, it won't be feasible to have free info available.

To conclude
, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to business or technical fields could benefit the humanity by enabling them with more knowledge, it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and harmful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
profit. In my opinion, it is better to share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which is not classified as vital.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is a good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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