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soem people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

soem people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 1
In last years, people think that sharing information related to the scientific research, business and academic departments it is valuable. However, some people think the complete opposite, that sharing everything, especially important information it doesn't make any sense. In this essay I will discuss both of the views and actually what is my opinion on this question. In my view, I agreed that it is much better to don't share important information from these departments. Also, I believe that because people who work in these departments know much more than other people, whilst they don't have the suitable knowledge to deal and understand with those information. A good example is, as a biomedical scientist working in the scientific research, I used to share information with other people and friends about my department and quite frequently people were arguing for information that may some of them did not understand in deep the importance of those information. After that, I decided to keep those information for myself as it doesn't make sense to talk with people while they don't fully understand because of the lack of appropriate knowledge. On the other hand, some people believe that is good to share information of critical working areas. Usually, it is often said, as many people know about a valuable information as much will be the help and also their opinion on the question. For instance, as I said above working in a scientific area, sometimes I do not expect from my close people to understand some of the key parts of this job and its importance and difficulties, until my sister had an excellent opinion of how this work should be done to avoid accidents. Therefore, sometimes it might be helpful to share information but that it does not happen always. To sum up, I think the most important is to keep information between each department, avoid the sharing with people each information for a better scientific, business and academic world.
In last years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research, business and academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
departments
it is valuable.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the complete opposite, that sharing everything,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sense. In this essay I will discuss both of the views and actually what is my opinion on this question.

In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that it is much better to don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
departments
.
Also
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
departments
know much more than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whilst they don't have the suitable knowledge to deal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is, as a biomedical scientist working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and friends about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
and quite
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were arguing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
in deep the importance of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. After that, I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for myself as it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense to talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while they don't
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of appropriate knowledge.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of critical working areas.
Usually
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know about a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as much will be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
also
their opinion on the question.
For instance
, as I said above working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
area,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
from my close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
key parts of this job and its importance and difficulties, until my sister had an excellent opinion of how this work should
be done
to avoid accidents.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it might be helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that it does not happen always.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
, avoid the sharing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
, business and academic world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay soem people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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