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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v.38

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 38
Most of the people do jobs to earn money for their livings. There are various reasons for many people to do jobs. For example, some people do jobs to spend their time in something they like to do, some for the salary, some to utilise their skills and to gather more experience and some to gain a social status. Some people even prefer to do a job rather than looking after their family business because they do not like the business. This is why job satisfaction became more versatile to many people who are engaged in different jobs. There are various reasons along with the above-stated factors which are related to job satisfaction. For example, some people are engaged in such a job, that they don't want to do but they couldn't find any other suitable work. This creates dissatisfaction in their mind. Besides, in many cases, dissatisfaction creates due to the surroundings, workplace and ego. As an example, the first job of mine was in City Bank head office which was very much neat and clean. Whenever I entered the office, it gave me the peace and a positive inspiration to work. Moreover, the colleagues around me were also very much friendly and helpful. That is why I barely could make a difference with my home. But, when I joined in Prime Bank, I found that the employees are not taking to me in a friendly manner as I expected. Their expressions were some sort of rude to me. To overcome the issue I tried to make them easy through various efforts like appreciating their work, offering them a treat after office hour, engage them in sports activity etc. Finally, I would like to say that it is not possible for every person to get the satisfaction in their jobs. The main reason is there are various types of people who work in the same place and all do not have the same mindset. Some people will be helpful, some will not be. So, it is very much unrealistic for every worker to experience the satisfaction in their jobs. Some people may have a good experience, some people may have a bad experience.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to earn money for their livings. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to spend their time in something they like to do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for the salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to gather more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to gain a social status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even prefer to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than looking after their family business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not like the business. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
became more versatile to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
jobs.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
reasons along with the above-stated factors which
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are engaged
in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, that they don't want to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they couldn't find any other suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This creates dissatisfaction in their mind.
Besides
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, dissatisfaction creates due to the surroundings, workplace and ego. As an example, the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of mine was in City Bank head office which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much neat and clean. Whenever I entered the office, it gave me the peace and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
inspiration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
,
Consider using "the surrounding colleagues".
the colleagues around me
were
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much friendly and helpful.
That is
why I
barely
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference with my home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in Prime Bank, I found that the employees are not taking to me
Consider replacing "in a friendly manner" with the adverb for "friendly"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a friendly manner
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. Their expressions were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of rude to me. To overcome the issue I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them easy through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
efforts like appreciating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, offering them a treat after office hour, engage them in sports activity etc.

Finally
, I would like to say that it is not possible for every person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. The main reason is there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same place and all do not have the same mindset.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be helpful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will not be.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much unrealistic for every worker to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. v. 38

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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