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As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree? v.30

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. v. 30
As the majority of adults spend most of their time at work, being content with your career is a crucial part of a person’s health and happiness. This essay will first discuss which elements lead to job satisfaction, and it will then address the question of how likely it is that everyone can be happy with their career. The two most important things that lead to someone being satisfied at work are being treated with respect by managers and being compensated fairly. If your seniors respect you as a person and the work you do, you feel like you are valued. A fair salary and benefits are also important considerations because if you feel you are being underpaid, you will either resent your bosses or look for another job. These two factors topped a recent job satisfaction survey conducted by Monstercom, which found that 72% of people were pleased with their current role if their superiors regularly appreciated them. With regards to the question of happiness for all the workers, I think this is and always will be highly unlikely. The vast majority of people fail to reach their goals and end up working on a post that they don’t care about in return for a salary. This money is just enough to pay their living expenses, which often means that they are trapped in a cycle of disenchantment. For example, The Times recently reported that 89% of office workers would leave their jobs if they did not need the money. In conclusion, being satisfied with your trade or profession is an important part of one’s well-being, and respect from one’s colleagues along with fair pay can improve your level of happiness; however, occupational satisfaction of all workers is an unrealistic prospect.
As the majority of adults spend most of their time at work, being content with your career is a crucial part of a person’s health and happiness. This essay will
first
discuss which elements lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction, and it will then address the question of how likely it is that everyone can be happy with their career.

The two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things that lead to someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
being
satisfied at work are
being treated
with respect by managers and
being compensated
fairly
. If your seniors respect you as a person and the work you do, you feel like you
are valued
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
salary and benefits are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
considerations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you feel you are being underpaid, you will either resent your bosses or look for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. These two factors topped a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Monstercom
, which found that 72% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
role if their superiors
regularly
appreciated them.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the question of happiness for all the workers, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is and always will be
highly
unlikely. The vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to reach their goals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up working on a post that they don’t care about in return for a salary. This money is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to pay their living expenses, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
means that they
are trapped
in a cycle of disenchantment.
For example
, The Times recently reported that 89% of office workers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if they did not need the money.

In conclusion
,
being satisfied
with your trade or profession is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of one’s well-being, and respect from one’s colleagues along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
pay can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your level of happiness;
however
, occupational satisfaction of all workers is an unrealistic prospect.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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