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Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too invaluable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and five yo v.9

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too invaluable to be shared freely. 9
It has always been a highly controversial issue about sharing typical information. Some people, however, argue that the most important data should not expose. I agree with this viewpoint, but only in some cases. For serious approaches, world community has to acknowledge and discuss about its suitability. On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that releasing military plans to society take the number of soldiers at risk. The terrorists might attack there and this definitely affects to the status of government. Furthermore, certain individual documents would be protected from illegal proposes. For example, personal phone numbers in various forms might be sold to other agents which use them for finance robbery. Another potential problem is competitive information amongst similar business, if an exclusive recipe is revealed, it would give a chance for their opponents adapt and entirely occupy customer group, reaching less profit. The authorities relating mentioned problems now concern and effort to impose strict measures. On the other hand, economy growth dependents on sharing information to other nations. For instance, roadmap for each country could guide foreign investors to spend money and decide to place production sector which spread the wealth to local dwellers. Secondary, medical cooperation could make more benefits from public diagnosis data. Many severe diseases need expert doctors who have noticeable ideas from different aspects. According to scientific innovations, for example, Thailand could go through oil spill over Andaman gulf with help from the American company which regulated contamination and recovered to better situation. All things considered, both of arguments have their merits, but sensitive information should be the secret.
It has always been a
highly
controversial issue about sharing typical
information
.
Some
people
,
however
, argue that the most
important
data should not expose. I
agree
with this viewpoint,
but
only
in
some
cases. For serious approaches, world community
has to
acknowledge and
discuss about its
suitability.

On the one hand, it is an undeniable fact that releasing military plans to society take the number of soldiers at
risk
. The terrorists might attack there and this definitely affects to the status of
government
.
Furthermore
, certain individual documents would
be protected
from illegal proposes.
For example
, personal phone numbers in various forms might
be sold
to other agents which
use
them for finance robbery. Another potential problem is competitive
information
amongst similar business, if an exclusive recipe
is revealed
, it would give a chance for their opponents adapt and
entirely
occupy customer group, reaching less profit. The authorities relating mentioned problems
now
concern and effort to impose strict measures.

On the other hand
, economy growth dependents on sharing
information
to other nations.
For instance
, roadmap for each country could guide foreign investors to spend money and decide to place production sector which spread the wealth to local dwellers. Secondary, medical cooperation could
make
more benefits from public diagnosis data.
Many
severe diseases need expert doctors who have noticeable
ideas
from
different
aspects. According to scientific innovations,
for example
, Thailand could go through oil spill over Andaman gulf with
help
from the American
company
which regulated contamination and recovered to better situation.

All things considered, both of arguments have their merits,
but
sensitive
information
should be the secret.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too invaluable to be shared freely. 9

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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