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Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v.2

Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v. 2
Dear Mr Smith, I hope this serves you well. Since our international foundation is serious to appoint off days a week earlier As it’s 50th anniversary of my parents all the children are going to gather together and make a party I need some off days. Let me explain you in details, From the last year my father passed that chronic illness. He had turned to a disappointed elder and whole the family were worry about him, further we decided to make a surprise plan. so, as you are aware I’m so far from them and I have to change two airplanes to get destination, Hence I need a week from 24th august to 30 august to spend some times with them. Furthermore, Miss Keen who were trained by me about a couple months ago could be the best person to be in charge of my duties, even though I will do all the serious matters remotely. Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated. Your sincerely, Chi Chung
Dear Mr Smith,

I hope this serves you well. Since our international foundation is serious to appoint off days a week earlier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
As
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
50th anniversary of my parents all the children are going to gather together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a party I need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
off days.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
you in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, From the last year my father passed that chronic illness. He had turned to a disappointed elder and whole the family
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
worry about him,
further
we decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a surprise plan.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, as you are aware I’m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far from them and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
two airplanes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
destination,
Hence
I need a week from 24th august to 30 august to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times with them.

Furthermore
, Miss Keen who
were trained
by me about a
Did you mean "couple of"? (In formal written English 'of' should follow 'couple'.)
couple
months ago could be the best person to be in charge of my duties,
even though
I will do all the serious matters
remotely
. Your assistance in this matter is
greatly
appreciated.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,

Chi Chung
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Your work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letterExplain why you need this time offgive details of when you want the time offsay who can do your work when you are awayWrite at least v.2