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You are a student at a university in Brighton and are living in private accommodation and have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v.1

You are a student at a university in Brighton and are living in private accommodation and have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v. 1
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you in regards to the ongoing problems with the hot water service in the apartment at 7/26 Willisden Rd. , Brighton. As you are aware the hot water service has not been working since the 17th of december when I called to notify you of the problem. I appreciate that within a day you arranged for tradesmen to come to the flat to resolve the problem. However, after the workmen arrived without the appropriate tools for the job and after spending 10 minutes looking at the job advised that they were aware of the cause of the problem and would return later in the day to fix it. they did not return until the 22nd of december when they advised that the problem was different to what they first expected and would need to order in new parts. On their return just after Christmas they replaced the thermostat and declared that the problem was fixed, but we still have no hot water. I would appreciate it if you could either arrange different workmen to come and either fix or replace the hot water service before the 31st of ِِDecember as we have guests coming to stay over new Year and would not wish them to fall ill. I look forward to your rapid response, Kind regards, Simon Smith
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with the hot water service in the apartment at 7/26
Possible spelling mistake found.
Willisden
Rd.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
Brighton.

As you are aware the hot water service has not been working since the 17th of
Possible spelling mistake found.
december
when I called to notify you of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I appreciate that within a day you arranged for tradesmen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the flat to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, after the workmen arrived without the appropriate tools for the job and after spending 10 minutes looking at the job advised that they were aware of the cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and would return later in the day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it. they did not return until the 22nd of
Possible spelling mistake found.
december
when they advised that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to what they
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
and would need to order in new parts. On their return
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after Christmas they replaced the thermostat and declared that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
still
have no hot water.

I would appreciate it if you could either arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
workmen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
or replace the hot water service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the 31st of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ِِDecember
as we have guests coming to stay over new Year and would not wish them to fall ill.

I look forward to your rapid response,

Kind regards,

Simon Smith
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You are a student at a university in Brighton and are living in private accommodation and have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord’s workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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