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You are planning to give a presentation in your large company. Write a letter to your colleague asking for help. In the letter, you should: •when and where the presentation will be•what the presentation is about•what you would like your colleague to d v.1

You are planning to give a presentation in your large company. Write a letter to your colleague asking for help. In the letter, you should: •when and where the presentation will be•what the presentation is about•what you would like your colleague to d v. 1
Dear A, I am writing this letter in connection with the upcoming financial budget planning seminar presentation of our office. This is to inform you that the meeting will be held at our head office on 15th instant. Detailed time schedule will be sent to you soon. Currently I am in need of help of yours about the last year’s forecasting and actual data of the northern region. The presentation will cover the overall target to be achieved and a budget planning to support that target. Two regions (Northern and Eastern) will be given a different set of goals as well as per unit productivity will also be calculated based on total performance. However, my presentation needs to support the Annual Budget Plan and the HR performance Data. For these reasons I need to collect the previous 5 years data of each region. I have already collected the data of previous 4 year from the office database but the current data is unavailable there. The sooner the data will be available in my hand the sooner I will be able to make the presentation. As we are a team, we will achieve things together by creating a win-win situation. I am looking forward to get reply from you. Thanking you, Rafiur.
Dear A,

I am writing this letter in connection with the upcoming financial budget planning seminar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
of our office. This is to inform you that the meeting will
be held
at our head office on 15th instant. Detailed time schedule will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
I am in need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of yours about the last year’s forecasting and actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of the northern region.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
will cover the
overall
target to
be achieved
and a budget planning to support that target. Two regions (Northern and Eastern) will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
set of goals
as well
as per unit productivity will
also
be calculated
based on total performance.
However
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
needs to support the Annual Budget Plan and the HR performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Data
. For these reasons I need to collect the previous 5 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of each region. I have already collected the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
of previous 4 year from the office database
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is unavailable there.

The sooner the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
will be available in my hand the sooner I will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
. As we are a team, we will achieve things together by creating a win-win situation.

I am looking forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reply from you.

Thanking you,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rafiur
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You are planning to give a presentation in your large company. Write a letter to your colleague asking for help. In the letter, you should: •when and where the presentation will be•what the presentation is about•what you would like your colleague to d v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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