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Your student visa is going to expire soon and hence you need to apply for a temporary residency. Write to the immigration officer requesting for this. Describe: Your current situation. What type of visa you are applying for. What you plan to do. v.2

Your student visa is going to expire soon and hence you need to apply for a temporary residency. Write to the immigration officer requesting for this. Describe: Your current situation. What type of visa you are applying for. What you plan to do. v. 2
Dear Sir, With due regards, I would like to state that my name is Imran Hossain and I am currently staying in Australia on a student visa, which is going to expire on 4th August, 2018. My student visa was issued in 2016. Unfortunately, my student visa needs to be curtailed before I can apply for any other visa. I graduated from my university course with Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering last month and therefore plan on staying in Melbourne for the next few months looking for a job in my field. However, without a temporary or permanent visa, many employers are unwilling to offer me a job. Hence, since I have already completed my studies, I would like to shorten my student visa and apply for a temporary visa under subclass 500, which will allow me to work on a full-time basis in Australia. I have already emailed the visa officer at my university who referred me to you so that you can assist me with this matter. Therefore, with the facts stated above, I would like to request you to provide me more information on how to proceed with this visa application. I am willing to pay any extra fee necessary or provide any other documents as required by the Australian rules and regulations. I look forward to hearing from you and hope that you will be kind enough to guide me through this complicated situation. With Regards.
Dear Sir,

With due regards, I would like to state that my name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Imran
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Hossain and
I am
currently
staying in Australia on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
visa, which is going to expire on 4th
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "August 2018".
August, 2018
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
visa
was issued
in 2016. Unfortunately, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
visa needs to
be curtailed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I can apply for any other visa.

I graduated from my university course with Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering last month and
therefore
plan on staying in Melbourne for the
next
few months looking for a job in my field.
However
, without a temporary or permanent visa,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers are unwilling to offer me a job.
Hence
, since I have already completed my studies, I would like to shorten my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
visa and apply for a temporary visa under subclass 500, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to work on a full-time basis in Australia. I have already emailed the visa officer at my university who referred me to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can assist me with this matter.

Therefore
, with the facts stated above, I would like to request you to provide me more information on how to proceed with this visa application. I am willing to pay any extra fee necessary or provide any other documents as required by the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations. I look forward to hearing from you and hope that you will be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to guide me through this complicated situation.

With Regards.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS letter Your student visa is going to expire soon and hence you need to apply for a temporary residency. Write to the immigration officer requesting for this. Describe: Your current situation. What type of visa you are applying for. What you plan to do. v. 2

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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