Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing to let you know that I am doomed to my current living conditions in the hostel. I have no major concerns with my room per se however, my housemate has made my life miserable to continue living here. I hope you will consider my request genuine.
Let me first explain my situation. It all started when my new housemate moved in to stay with me here. Prior to that everything was cordial between me and my old roommate. My current roommate is up all night and parties with intolerably loud music. I have tried to sort things out by communicating with her on many occasions, but sadly all efforts in vain. Now it is impossible for me to sleep properly hence affecting studies and work by lowering my concentration levels.
Would you kindly transfer me or my roommate to a different accommodation? I would prefer to live in with a more considerate and quieter person. As long as the room is peaceful to study and work, I don' t mind with whom I share.
Thank you for consideration.
Your Faithfully,
Diana
Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing to  
let
 you know that I  
am doomed
 to my  
current
 living conditions in the hostel. I have no major concerns with my room per se  
however
, my housemate has made my life miserable to continue living here.  
I
 hope you will consider my request genuine. 
Let
 me  
first
  explain
 my situation. It all  
started
 when my new housemate  
moved
 in to stay with me here. Prior to that everything was cordial between me and my  
old
 roommate. My  
current
 roommate is up all night and parties with  
intolerably
 loud music. I have tried to sort things out by communicating with her on  
many
 occasions,  
but
  sadly
 all efforts in vain.  
Now
 it is impossible for me to sleep  
properly
  hence
 affecting studies and work by lowering my concentration levels.
Would you kindly transfer me or my roommate to a  
different
 accommodation? I would prefer to  
live
 in with a more considerate and quieter person. As long as the room is peaceful to study and work, I  
don&
#039; t mind with whom I share.
Thank you for consideration. 
Your
  Faithfully
,
Diana
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes