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The company you’re working offers funds and required things to the groups of local community every year. Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should: describle v.2

The company you’re working offers funds and required things to the groups of local community every year. Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should: describle v. 2
Dear Director, I am writing to you, to request an assistant from the company regarding the funds that you offer each year during Christmas, for the local community. My friends and I, 2 years ago we founded a small committee to aid poor local people, friends and some family members. We collect each month foods, clothes and medicines from many helpful citizens. Addition to this, we do small events to make money, in order to do some activities for kids, to make them feel that they aren’t alone in this world. However, we request from your company if it is possible, a small amount of these funds; to help those people during this holy month (Christmas). Since, until today we couldn’t find the exact number of donors to reach our target and fulfil the happiness of those people. Moreover, by the assistant of your company, this will impact positively on its reputation. Where people will know the company more and encourage them to purchase the products that it sells and raise its profit. I would like to take our request into consideration, I appreciate your help if it is done. Best Regards
Dear Director,

I am writing to you, to request an assistant from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
regarding the funds that you offer each year during Christmas, for the local community.

My friends and I, 2 years ago we founded a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
committee to aid poor local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, friends and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
family members. We collect each month foods, clothes and medicines from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
helpful citizens. Addition to this, we do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money, in order to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities for kids, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel that they aren’t alone in this world.

However
, we request from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
if it is possible, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of these funds; to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
during this holy month (Christmas). Since, until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we couldn’t find the exact number of donors to reach our target and fulfil the happiness of those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Moreover
, by the assistant of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, this will impact
positively
on its reputation. Where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
more and encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the products that it sells and raise its profit.

I would like to take our request into consideration, I appreciate your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if it
is done
.

Best Regards
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter The company you’re working offers funds and required things to the groups of local community every year. Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should: describle v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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