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Your friend has asked you about the course details you recently did in a training centre. Explain about the course details, why should your friend take this course and how has the course benefitted you. v.2

Your friend has asked you about the course details you recently did in a training centre. Explain about the course details, why should your friend take this course and how has the course benefitted you. v. 2
Dear Sally, Hi how are you doing there? I am really loving my training here in the English centre here in Cambridge. I am writing to you to explain this module. To start with, this kind of training will give you an edge into communicating to other people. Specifically to a English speaking nation another, is that you can also take IELTS in order for you to become a university professor if wish to. You should take this course since that it will give an in depth understanding to the English language. As well as give you a lot of confidence when communicating in your house or in you work place. It is also cheap when you enroll right now that includes a lot of perks like exercise materials, 1 on 1 coaching and Lesson materials. If you want me to accompany you to enroll just give me a call or email me at gai@mail. com. There is no enrollment period since that it is a module base type of a training. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best wishes, Bill
Dear Sally,

Hi how are you doing there? I am
really
loving my training here in the English
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
here in Cambridge.

I am writing to you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this module. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, this kind of training will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you an edge into communicating to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Specifically
to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
nation another, is that you can
also
take IELTS in order for you to become a university professor if wish to.

You should take this course since that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
an in depth understanding to the English language.
As well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
confidence when communicating in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or in you work place. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
when you enroll right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that includes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
perks like exercise materials, 1 on 1 coaching and Lesson materials.

If you want me to accompany you to enroll
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
me a call or email me at
Possible spelling mistake found.
gai@mail
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
. There is no enrollment period since that it is a module base
If 'type' is a classification term, 'a' is not necessary. Use "type of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
type of a
training.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Best wishes,

Bill
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS letter Your friend has asked you about the course details you recently did in a training centre. Explain about the course details, why should your friend take this course and how has the course benefitted you. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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