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Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v.2

Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v. 2
Dear sir, First of all, I would like to thank you for selecting my son, Ravi, for science excursion to New Zealand. Yesterday I have come to know from my son that a few parents are required for this trip. I would like to express my wish to join this trip. As I have worked in new Zealand for three years, so I am aware of most of the places and culture of New Zealand. At the same time I can take care of my son as he gets sick very soon whenever there is a climate change. Moreover, I could help the team as a tour guide. I have any contacts in New Zealand that could be beneficial if our team face any problem. Furthermore, I have few queries. Firstly, whether I will be allowed stay with my son or parents have to stay separately. Secondly, on weekends, can we separate city tour with my son? I will eagerly waiting for your response. Thanks in anticipation. Regards, Bibhu kalita
Dear sir,

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to thank you for selecting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
, Ravi, for science excursion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. Yesterday I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
that a few parents
are required
for this trip.

I would like to express my wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this trip. As I have worked in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new Zealand
for three years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am aware of most of the places and culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. At the same time I can take care of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
whenever there is a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Moreover
, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the team as a tour guide. I have any contacts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand that could be beneficial if our team face any problem.

Furthermore
, I have few queries.
Firstly
, whether I will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
stay with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
or parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay
separately
.
Secondly
, on weekends, can we separate city tour with my son?

I will
eagerly
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "wait"
waiting
for your response. Thanks in anticipation.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Bibhu
Possible spelling mistake found.
kalita
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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