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Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v.2

Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v. 2
Dear sir, First of all, I would like to thank you for selecting my son, Ravi, for science excursion to New Zealand. Yesterday I have come to know from my son that a few parents are required for this trip. I would like to express my wish to join this trip. As I have worked in new Zealand for three years, so I am aware of most of the places and culture of New Zealand. At the same time I can take care of my son as he gets sick very soon whenever there is a climate change. Moreover, I could help the team as a tour guide. I have any contacts in New Zealand that could be beneficial if our team face any problem. Furthermore, I have few queries. Firstly, whether I will be allowed stay with my son or parents have to stay separately. Secondly, on weekends, can we separate city tour with my son? I will eagerly waiting for your response. Thanks in anticipation. Regards, Bibhu kalita
Dear sir,

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I would like to thank you for selecting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
, Ravi, for science excursion to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. Yesterday I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
that a few parents
are required
for this trip.

I would like to express my wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
this trip. As I have worked in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
new Zealand
for three years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I am aware of most of the places and culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand. At the same time I can take care of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
whenever there is a climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Moreover
, I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the team as a tour guide. I have any contacts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Zealand that could be beneficial if our team face any problem.

Furthermore
, I have few queries.
Firstly
, whether I will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
stay with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
or parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay
separately
.
Secondly
, on weekends, can we separate city tour with my son?

I will
eagerly
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "wait"
waiting
for your response. Thanks in anticipation.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Bibhu
Possible spelling mistake found.
kalita
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter Your child is going away on a school trip for three days to another country. The head teacher wants some parents to join the trip and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: •Say why you would like to go•Suggest what yo v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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