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Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v.2

Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v. 2
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter to request you permission to join the school' s trip to Japan for three days. I came to know about the trip from the letter that was sent to parents last week requesting the willing parents to join it. While going through the letter, I found there is not mentioned about the places the school will visit in Japan. In fact, what are the particular places will be visited. Furthermore, are we eating in Japanese restaurants throughout the stay or are we cooking by ourselves? I have been interested in Japanese culture and tradition since my childhood. Indeed, I have studied Japanese language in High School and University to enhance the understanding about Japan. Unfortunately, I have never had any chance of going there; therefore, I would like to grab this opportunity and be ready for my first visit to Japan. My company would be also very useful for the school as I can play a role of translator. In fact, English is hardly spoken in Japan, thereby my presence would eliminate the necessity of of money that would required for hiring a translator. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Dr. AG Agrawal
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to request you permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s trip to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
for three days. I came to know about the trip from the letter that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to parents last week requesting the willing parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
it. While going through the letter, I found there is not
Did you mean simply "mentioned the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about the
places the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will visit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. In fact, what are the particular places will
be visited
.
Furthermore
, are we eating in Japanese restaurants throughout the stay or are we cooking by ourselves?

I have
been interested
in Japanese culture and tradition since my childhood.
Indeed
, I have studied Japanese language in High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
and University to enhance the understanding about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
. Unfortunately, I have never had any chance of going there;
therefore
, I would like to grab this opportunity and be ready for my
first
visit to Japan.

My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
would be
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as I can play a role of translator. In fact, English is hardly spoken in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, thereby my presence would eliminate the necessity
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
money that would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "require"
required
for hiring a translator.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
sincerely
,

Dr. AG
Possible spelling mistake found.
Agrawal
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS letter Your child's school is going for a trip out of the country for 3 days and parent is allowed to join the group. Write a letter to school. In your letter, you should: ask questions about the trip tell them why you want to join the group exp v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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