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Your car is hired from a company and while you were driving on holiday, you had a small accident. You will have to write a report to the company to explain it. v.5

Your car is hired from a company and while you were driving on holiday, you had a small accident. You will have to write a report to the company to explain it. v. 5
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to report an accident that happened last weekend with the car that I rented a few days ago from your company. I hired a Toyota Inova 2018 model car last Saturday from your Petro branch near the Hilton hotel. I reserved the car for eight days and paid half of the charge up front. Last Sunday I took a countryside tour to visit Cloud Mountain in the southern city.   When I drove at the end of express highway leading to Lauren Bridge a car in front of me suddenly turned left without any signal. It happened so swiftly that I could not reduce the speed and control the vehicle properly which caused a collision between us. The left headlight was broken and few scratched on the left side in the car is visible. Fortunately, none of us was injured. Later we called the police and the incident was reported accordingly. In the meantime, I sent the vehicle to a repair shop for repairing. I obviously will bear all the costs. I expect to have the car returned on this Friday as per our contract. I am attaching herein, the copy of the report in which you can find more details about the incident. I apologise for the unexpected inconvenience caused and accept to pay the compensation if any. Thank you for your understanding. Yours faithfully, Jennifer Poulsen
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to report an accident that happened last weekend with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
that I rented a few days ago from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I hired a Toyota
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inova
2018 model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
last Saturday from your
Possible spelling mistake found.
Petro
branch near the Hilton hotel.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
reserved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for eight days and paid half of the charge up front. Last Sunday I took a countryside tour to visit Cloud Mountain in the southern city.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I drove at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of express highway leading to Lauren Bridge a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
in front of me
suddenly
turned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without any signal. It happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
swiftly
that I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the speed and control the vehicle
properly
which caused a collision between us. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
headlight
was broken
and few scratched on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is visible.
Fortunately
, none of us
was injured
. Later we called the police and the incident
was reported
accordingly
.

In the meantime, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
the vehicle to a repair shop for repairing. I
obviously
will bear all the costs. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
returned on this Friday as per our contract.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am attaching herein, the copy of the report in which you can find more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the incident.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
for the unexpected inconvenience caused and accept to pay the compensation if any.

Thank you for your understanding.

Yours
faithfully
,

Jennifer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Poulsen
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS letter Your car is hired from a company and while you were driving on holiday, you had a small accident. You will have to write a report to the company to explain it. v. 5

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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