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You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. v.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. v. 5
Dear Mr Jacob, I am writing this letter to inform you about my desire to work in our company’s head office in Amsterdam for about six months. Recently, our company has announced an extensive training programme on the techniques of developing new accounting software for mid-size business firms, and I would like to avail this opportunity. Our company now develops such software for only small firms at our local office and soon we will need to target large business entities. The training programme is to be held at our head office from 10th of the next July. I would also like to add here that this particular training programme may prove out to be quite important for a software development team leader like me in showing the way to the junior team members and managing larger projects in the future. I have already talked to my project manager to help my team members carry on their routine works without any hurdle, and he assured me that he would jump in to fill the void within the team in my absence. So, it would be great if you could arrange for my transfer so that I can join the training programme and bring innovations to our team. Yours sincerely, John Andrew
Dear Mr Jacob,

I am writing this letter to inform you about my desire to work in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s head office in Amsterdam for about six months.

Recently, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has announced an extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
on the techniques of developing new accounting software for mid-size business firms, and I would like to avail this opportunity. Our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
develops such software for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
firms at our local office and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
we will need to target large business entities.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
is to
be held
at our head office from 10th of the
next
July. I would
also
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
here that this particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
may prove out to be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a software development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
leader like me in showing the way to the junior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members and managing larger projects in the future.

I have already talked to my project manager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members carry on their routine works without any hurdle, and he assured me that he would jump in to fill the void within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in my absence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be great if you could arrange for my transfer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
and bring innovations to our team.

Yours
sincerely
,

John Andrew
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. v. 5

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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