Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Writing task 1 cambridge 13, test 1You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter-explain why you want to work in the company’s head v.2

Writing task 1 cambridge 13, test 1You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter-explain why you want to work in the company’s head v. 2
Dear Michelle, I have been working in our international company ‘’Mobile toys’’ for six years and feel that I need some more challenges which made me think about working abroad for a while. I am writing to you in regards to ask if I would be able to work in Shanghai, China for half a year in its head office. This would offer me a new experience, I could attend the local market to see their selling tricks and also see how their import and export work. Most of my work would be still done on time. I can use the internet there, read e-mails and do all the necessary work through online. Although I am not able to meet my clients while I am away. Therefore I need your help to see if anyone could replace me to meet my clients. I would highly appreciate if you would consider my request working six months in Shanghai. Kind regards, Mary
Dear Michelle,

I have been working in our international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
‘’Mobile toys’’ for six years and feel that I need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more challenges which made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about working abroad for a while.

I am writing to you
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
ask if I would be able to work in Shanghai, China for half a year in its head office. This would offer me a new experience, I could attend the local market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their selling tricks and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how their import and export work.

Most of my work would be
still
done on time. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet there, read e-mails and do all the necessary work through online.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
I am not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my clients while I am away.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if anyone could replace me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my clients.

I would
highly
appreciate if you would consider my request working six months in Shanghai.

Kind regards,

Mary
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter Writing task 1 cambridge 13, test 1You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter-explain why you want to work in the company’s head v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts