Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You work for a children’s home which needs volunteers to help at weekends. write to the local newspaper. In your letterRequest that they publicise the vacancies Include details of what is required of the applicantsExplain the ways in which both voluntee v.2

You work for a children’s home which needs volunteers to help at weekends. write to the local newspaper. In your letterRequest that they publicise the vacancies Include details of what is required of the applicantsExplain the ways in which both voluntee v. 2
I am one of the workers in” Green garden “children’s home, . serving assistance to children during weekdays. Some of our collaborators finished their courses at college and leaving the Green garden. Therefore there are vacancies for weekends and we are in urgent need for taking care of children in these days. I would like to ask you to rank this request in the headline of your newspaper. Volunteers are not required to be highly educated, however they should have one the following skills: sports like basketball, able to play one of the music instrument like violin or learnt a foreign language in intermediate level. The most efficient person would be some body who is in their twenties due to high compatibility with young children. Besides it is essential to have a letter from laboratory to make sure candidates are not addict or alcohol abusers. Finlay a simple interview with the authorizes to proof psychologically health. Children at this home are at the age of 8-10 and so enthusiasm to experience new skills, there will be a mutual benefits if volunteers are learning new skills and share their experiences with children and promote the abilities for both sides.
I am one of the workers in” Green garden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“children’s
home
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
serving
assistance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during weekdays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of our collaborators finished their courses at college and leaving the Green garden.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
there are vacancies for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weekends and
we are in urgent need for taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in these days. I would like to ask you to rank this request in the headline of your newspaper.

Volunteers are not required to be
highly
educated,
however
they should have one the following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
: sports like basketball, able to play one of the music instrument like violin or
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
a foreign language in intermediate level.

The most efficient person would be
Did you mean "somebody"?
some body
who is in their twenties due to high compatibility with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
it is essential to have a letter from laboratory to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure candidates are not addict or alcohol abusers. Finlay a simple interview with the authorizes to proof
psychologically
health.

Children at this home are at the age of 8-10 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
enthusiasm to experience new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, there will be a mutual benefits if volunteers are learning new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and share their experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and promote the abilities for both sides.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS letter You work for a children’s home which needs volunteers to help at weekends. write to the local newspaper. In your letterRequest that they publicise the vacancies Include details of what is required of the applicantsExplain the ways in which both voluntee v. 2

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts