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you work at home and you have problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. in your letterdescribe the problem with the equipmentexplain how this problem is affecting your w v.1

you work at home and you have problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. in your letterdescribe the problem with the equipmentexplain how this problem is affecting your w v. 1
Dear sir, I am writing this letter to lodge a complain about the laptop which I had bought from your shop 6 months back. Since a year I am working in an infrastructure technology based company where most of the time I have to work from distance. This resulted in buying a portable desk with which I can easily communicate with my organisation and work as per my pace. After a sound research I concluded, that apple mackbook Air is all what i need. Since a month I am facing the issue of battery problem. The charging get reduced within a short span of time approximately an hour. Also, the temperature of the laptop increase profusely. As a result, I am not able to work as I require a charging plug everywhere i travel and unable to meet my project submission deadline. I highly appreciate if you could help me resolve the issue as the device is in warrantee period. Furthermore, it is a request to either replace the device or solve the problem on urgent basis, as I have to leave country next month for work tour. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Hima Kacha
Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to lodge a
The word 'complain' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "complaint"?
complain
about the laptop which I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
from your shop 6 months back.

“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
a year I am working in an infrastructure technology based
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where most of the time I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from distance. This resulted in buying a portable desk with which I can
easily
communicate with my
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as per my pace.

After a sound research I concluded, that apple
Possible spelling mistake found.
mackbook
Air is all what
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
a month I am facing the issue of battery problem. The charging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
within a short span of time approximately an hour.
Also
, the temperature of the laptop increase
profusely
.
As a result
, I am not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as I require a charging plug everywhere
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
travel and unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my project submission deadline.

I
highly
appreciate if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me resolve the issue as the device is in
Possible spelling mistake found.
warrantee
period.
Furthermore
, it is a request to either replace the device or solve the problem on urgent basis, as I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
country
next
month for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tour.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Hima
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kacha
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS letter you work at home and you have problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. in your letterdescribe the problem with the equipmentexplain how this problem is affecting your w v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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