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You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do v.1

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do v. 1
Dear Manager, I have recently purchased a cooling pad in your stores. I would like to bring forth to your notice a hazardous situation which I have experienced with your equipment. Model Z 123 Cooling pad was working fine for the first two weeks. Suddenly, it started electrocuting me i. e. it is giving electric jolts to my palms while typing on my laptop when placed over it. I work from home online and after the beginning of this problem, I had to put a halt to my work as it could be fatal incase if these is a complete burnout of your electric accessory. On top of that, there is a chance that it could ruin my laptop. The crux of the problem here is that my life is in a grave danger if you can understand severity of this situation. I’m pretty sure that the equipment is faulty and would recommend you to replace it immediately free of charge as my warranty still exists. I am strictly advising you to take this model out of circulation until the manufacturer modifies the product. Regards, Jack Dan
Dear Manager,

I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
a cooling pad in your stores. I would like to bring forth to your notice a hazardous situation which I have experienced with your equipment.

Model Z 123 Cooling
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pad' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pads".
pad
was working fine for the
first
two weeks.
Suddenly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
electrocuting me
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
it is giving electric jolts to my palms while typing on my laptop when placed over it. I work from home online and after the beginning of this problem, I had to put a halt to my work as it could be fatal
Possible spelling mistake found.
incase
if
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
a complete burnout of your electric accessory.
On top of that
, there is a chance that it could ruin my laptop. The crux of the problem here is that my life is in a grave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
if you can understand severity of this situation.

I’m pretty sure that the equipment is faulty and would recommend you to replace it immediately free of charge as my warranty
still
exists. I am
strictly
advising you to take this model out of circulation until the manufacturer modifies the product.

Regards,

Jack Dan
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do v. 1

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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