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You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v.2

You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v. 2
I am writing with regards to the Management course which I have enrolled last week on the 21 of July. I am one of your student in Azaran college and studying MBA. I have recently passed a job interview and hopefully, did I get the offer. Honestly, do I firmly believe this course would boost my boost business and interpersonal skill As did I enquiry, found out this informative course is conducted with one of your knowledgeable faculty who is nationally famous in this field. This matter makes me even more enthusiastic to participate in his class as soon as possible. If further enrollment in current semester is not available, I will be grateful if you cloud invite him again for another course which will be held in an upcoming semester. In addition, it would be golden opportunity to have access to all handbooks and other material which are taught in class. As I am aware there are more students who are highly likely to attend in this important course. Therefore, happily will we pay any extra fee that is allocated with the new course. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours sincerely.
I am writing
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
the Management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which I have enrolled last week on the 21 of July.

I am one of your student in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azaran
college and studying MBA.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have recently passed a job interview and
hopefully
, did I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the offer.
Honestly
, do I
firmly
believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
would boost my boost business and interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
As did
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I enquiry
, found out this informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is conducted
with one of your knowledgeable faculty who is
nationally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in this field. This matter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me even more enthusiastic to participate in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

If
further
enrollment in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
semester is not available, I will be grateful if you cloud invite him again for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
which will
be held
in an upcoming semester.
In addition
, it would be golden opportunity to have access to all handbooks and other material which
are taught
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I am aware there are more students who are
highly
likely to attend in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Therefore
,
happily
will we pay any extra fee that
is allocated
with the new course.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours
sincerely
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter You have applied for a course in a college, but there were no places available. Write a letter to the principal and ask to enrol for the next available course. Include the following: - Why do you want to do this course? - What other options would you like t v. 2

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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