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You wish to apply for a position with a company in your city. Write a letter to the manager of this company and include the following information: – your educational background – your work experience – other information that makes you an v.1

You wish to apply for a position with a company in your city. Write a letter to the manager of this company and include the following information: – your educational background – your work experience – other information that makes you an v. 1
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my interest for the job opportunity in your organization. I am a Bachelors in Finance and an MBA in Human Resource from Middlesex University. I came across your job advertisement for the vacancy of Senior Human Resource Manager in the classified section of Gulf news. With regards to my professional experience, I have overall five years of full time work experience as a Human Resource Manager in a renowned Oil & Gas company. Apart from handling HR, I also have worked as an Administration Manager as well as served as a Secretary to the CEO. Since, my forte is in talent acquisition, employee verification and payrolls, my candidature will be an ultimate match to your requirement. Also, I would like to highlight my multi-tasking skills, proactive behaviour, accuracy in work and my hardworking attitude towards work. I am keen to join your organization. Looking forward to your positive response. Yours faithfully, Jessica Ayri
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my interest for the job opportunity in your organization. I am
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a bachelor" or simply "Bachelors"?
a Bachelors
in Finance and an MBA in Human Resource from Middlesex University.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
came across your job advertisement for the vacancy of Senior Human Resource Manager in the classified section of Gulf news.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
my professional experience, I have
overall
five years of full time work experience as a Human Resource Manager in a renowned Oil
Possible spelling mistake found.
&amp
; Gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Apart from handling HR, I
also
have worked as an Administration Manager
as well
as served as a Secretary to the CEO.

Since, my forte is in talent acquisition, employee verification and payrolls, my candidature will be an ultimate match to your requirement.
Also
, I would like to highlight my multi-tasking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, proactive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, accuracy in work and my hardworking attitude towards work.

I am keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
your organization. Looking forward to your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response.

Yours
faithfully
,

Jessica
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ayri
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter You wish to apply for a position with a company in your city. Write a letter to the manager of this company and include the following information: – your educational background – your work experience – other information that makes you an v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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