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You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v.2

You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you that I would like to apply for a short course on “Disaster risk reduction with special emphasis on floods and forest fires” commencing from 20th of May to 31st of May in your college. I am former alumni of 2018 year and I have successfully completed postgraduate course in Remote Sensing and GIS. To be honest, it was unforgivable experience attending the course and I have learned almost everything about latest technologies in the field of processing of satellite images. As well as this, all our teachers were approachable and qualified. After my graduation of the course, I have changed my position and now I am working in an emergency department. By the nature of my work, I need to analyze flood risk in Almaty city and calculate the potential damage in the worst-case scenario. Thus, the main reason why I have decided to apply the short-course mentioned above is that my current field of works demands specific knowledge about how to reduce potential disaster risk. In addition, as a former student I am sure that I will receive priceless information and answers for my questions about floods and how to deal with them from cartography perspective. Could you please send me the brochure of the course conducted in May and notify if there are any specific requirements for attending it? Yours Sincerely, Mariya Vlassova
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you that I would like to apply for a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
on “Disaster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
reduction with special emphasis on floods and forest fires” commencing from 20th of May to 31st of May in your college.

I am former alumni of 2018 year and I have
successfully
completed postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in Remote Sensing and GIS. To be honest, it was unforgivable experience attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and I have learned almost everything about
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies in the field of processing of satellite images.
As well
as this, all our teachers were approachable and qualified.

After my graduation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my position and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am working in an emergency department. By the nature of my work, I need to analyze flood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in Almaty city and calculate the potential damage in the worst-case scenario.
Thus
, the main reason why I have decided to apply the short-course mentioned above is that my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
field of works demands specific knowledge about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
potential disaster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
In addition
, as a former student I am sure that I will receive priceless information and answers for my questions about floods and how to deal with them from cartography perspective.

Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the brochure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
conducted in May and notify if there are any specific requirements for attending it?

Yours
Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mariya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vlassova
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS letter You are interested in attending a short course at a college in an English speaking country. Write a letter to the college administration; include what course you would like to attend. Give details about your educational background and work experience. Wha v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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