Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You will move to a new city for work You know some people who live there Write a letter to someone you know live there In your letter Ask them for help finding accommodation Tell them where you would like to live Tell them the type of place you are lookin v.1

You will move to a new city for work You know some people who live there Write a letter to someone you know live there In your letter Ask them for help finding accommodation Tell them where you would like to live Tell them the type of place you are lookin v. 1
Dear Ali, I hope you are well. I am writing to ask for your help in order to find an accommodation in Melbourne. I find a new job in an international company with good reputation in Melbourne, consequently I will move to this cosmopolitan city in the next 2 months. Since you have been living there for more than 3 years, I want to ask for your help to find an appropriate accommodation. My new office is located in the city center but as I surf the net I realized that the rents are so high and it would not be affordable for me to pay for the house in that neighborhood as well as covering the daily costs. So I would be grateful if you could find me a house in the suburbia with the easy access to the public transportation. I am looking for a three bedroom house with a small kitchen and a big garden, though children would have enough room to play around and spend their time. Moreover, there should be a state school in the vicinity since Sophia will go to school in the next academic semester. Thanks for your help and support. Best wishes, Rahi
Dear Ali,

I hope you are well. I am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
in Melbourne.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a new job in an international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation in Melbourne,
consequently
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to this cosmopolitan city in the
next
2 months. Since you have been living there for more than 3 years, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "appropriate accommodation".
an appropriate accommodation
.

My new office
is located
in the city center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as I surf the net I realized that the rents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high and it would not be affordable for me to pay for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in that neighborhood
as well
as covering the daily costs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would be grateful if you could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the suburbia with the easy access to the public transportation.

I am looking for a
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
three bedroom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kitchen and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
garden, though children would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
room to play around and spend their time.
Moreover
, there should be a state school in the vicinity since Sophia will go to school in the
next
academic semester.

Thanks for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and support.

Best wishes,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Rahi
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter You will move to a new city for work You know some people who live there Write a letter to someone you know live there In your letter Ask them for help finding accommodation Tell them where you would like to live Tell them the type of place you are lookin v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts