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You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v.2

You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, My wife and I are your tenants at the Eleganza Estate and I am writing to inform you that we need a new apartment. The house we live in currently is a one-bedroom flat. It was suitable for both of us, since we were alone and had no child. However, we are expecting our first baby in November and when he is born, my mother-in-law will join us to help take care of him and my spouse. Therefore, we believe that our current abode will be too small for all of us, hence the need for a new home. Our expectation is to pack into the new house in September, when our current rent expires. This will also allow us some time to get it ready for the people we are expecting. We would like our new home to be a three-bedroom bungalow with good water and electricity supply. It should also be close to my office in Victoria Island, to enable me shuttle freely between office and home, whenever necessary. Please let us know as soon as you see something within our description, so we can come for inspection. Yours faithfully, Okoronkwo Alfred.
Dear Sir or Madam,

My wife and I are your tenants at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eleganza
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Estate and
I am writing to inform you that we need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
apartment.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
currently
is a one-bedroom flat. It was suitable for both of us, since we were alone and had no child.
However
, we are expecting our
first
baby in November and when he
is born
, my mother-in-law will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
take care of him and my spouse.
Therefore
, we believe that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
abode will be too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
for all of us,
hence
the need for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home.

Our expectation is to pack into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in September, when our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
rent expires. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it ready for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we are expecting.

We would like our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home to be a three-bedroom bungalow with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
water and electricity supply. It should
also
be close to my office in Victoria Island, to enable me shuttle
freely
between office and home, whenever necessary.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us know as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
something within our description,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for inspection.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Okoronkwo
Alfred.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You need a new accommodation for your family. Write a letter to the who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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