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ou and your family are moving to another country, and you are looking for rented accommodation there. Write a letter to a property agent. in your letter- Introduce yourself and your family- Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find- Give you v.2

ou and your family are moving to another country, and you are looking for rented accommodation there. Write a letter to a property agent. in your letter- Introduce yourself and your family- Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find- Give you v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, My family and I are moving to your city and we would need rented accommodation and we would need your assistance to find perfect accommodation for us. As an introduction, I am a chartered accountant (CA) by profession and I was working in India and now I am moving to London for my new role. I have with me my beautiful wife, who is also a chartered accountant (CA) and one son aged 8. My son is on class 3, he enjoy playing with other kids. We would need 2 story building near the main city of London where my office is situated. Building should have 3 bedrooms, 2 washrooms and open trace for all the rooms. One important thing, we do not want to share our building, it should be independent. Furthermore, it would be great if you can find building with the garden and some open area for parking. Considering we have son who goes to school, we prepare area nearby the good school. We would prefer area nearby our office location and are with cooperative neighbourhood. Further, consideration must be given to my son who want to play in park and open area. Hope above information help you finding the accommodation suitable for us. Looking forward to hearing from you. Sincere thanks Binod Khatri
Dear Sir or Madam,

My family and I are moving to your
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city and
we would need rented
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
accommodation and
we would need your assistance to find perfect accommodation for us.

As an introduction, I am a chartered accountant (CA) by profession and I was working in India and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am moving to London for my new role. I have with me my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
wife, who is
also
a chartered accountant (CA) and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
aged 8. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
is on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
3, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "enjoys", "enjoyed".
enjoy
playing with other kids.

We would need
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
2 story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
near the main
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
city of London
where my office
is situated
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Building
should have 3 bedrooms, 2 washrooms and open trace for all the rooms. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing, we do not want to share our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, it should be independent.
Furthermore
, it would be great if you can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with the garden and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
open area for parking.

Considering we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
who goes to school, we prepare area nearby the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
school. We would prefer area nearby our office location and are with cooperative
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Further
, consideration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
son
who want to play in park and open area.

Hope above information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
The verb 'Hope' is used with an infinitive: "to find" or "find".
finding
the accommodation suitable for us. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincere thanks

Possible spelling mistake found.
Binod
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khatri
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS letter ou and your family are moving to another country, and you are looking for rented accommodation there. Write a letter to a property agent. in your letter- Introduce yourself and your family- Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find- Give you v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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