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You need a new accommodation. Write a letter to the manager who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v.2

You need a new accommodation. Write a letter to the manager who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, My wife and I are your tenants at the Eleganza Estate and I write to inform you that we need a new house. The apartment we rent is Flat 4 of House 3. It is a one-bedroom flat, located on the second floor of the building. It was a perfect home for my family, considering that it was just my wife and I, and the fact that we had budget constraint at that time. Now that we have a new baby, and with my mother-in-law joining us to help take care of our new child and my spouse, the place has become so compact and unhealthy for all of us. We therefore, believe that a more spacious apartment will be more conducive for us. As a result, we would love our new home to be a three-bed with all rooms en-suite. This will afford us the space that is lacking in our current abode. It is also our desire that the building be located within Victoria Island, and should have good supply of electricity and water, to save us from having to buy gas for the generators all the time, to power the house and the pumping machine. Our plan is to move by the end of September, when our current rent expires. Considering that we have about one month to this date, we urge you to speed up action in this search, and Please, let us know as soon as you find something, so we can come for inspection and finalize the deal. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Okoronkwo Alfred.
Dear Sir or Madam,

My wife and I are your tenants at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eleganza
Estate and I write to inform you that we need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The apartment we rent is Flat 4 of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
3. It is a one-bedroom flat, located on the second floor of the building.

It was a perfect home for my family, considering that it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
my wife and I, and the fact that we had budget constraint at that time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
baby, and with my mother-in-law joining us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
take care of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
child and my spouse, the place has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
compact and unhealthy for all of us. We
therefore
, believe that a more spacious apartment will be more conducive for us.

As a result
, we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
home to be a three-bed with all rooms en-suite. This will afford us the space
that is
lacking in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
abode. It is
also
our desire that the building
be located
within Victoria Island, and should have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
supply of electricity and water, to save us from having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
gas for the generators all the time, to power the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and the pumping machine.

Our plan is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of September, when our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
rent expires. Considering that we have about one month to this date, we urge you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
action in this search, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us know as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as you find something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for inspection and finalize the deal.

We look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Okoronkwo
Alfred.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS letter You need a new accommodation. Write a letter to the manager who you rent your flat from and explain: - Why your family need a new accommodation- When you want to move- How you would like your new accommodation v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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