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You will be moving to a new office soon. Write a letter to the general manager to request some necessary equipment for your future office. In your letter say– What equipment will you need and when? – Explain why you will need it. – Suggest where to ge v.2

You will be moving to a new office soon. Write a letter to the general manager to request some necessary equipment for your future office. In your letter say– What equipment will you need and when? – Explain why you will need it. – Suggest where to ge v. 2
Dear Mr John, I am writing this letter you in order to provide me with a new laptop and printer for my new desk as I will be officially there on 1st of June. I would like to have a business edition laptop and an HP LaserJet printer before 1st of June in order to make sure they are working properly and to copy my work from old laptop to the new one. This is because my job requires rapid response to emails as well as extracting instant reports for managers, yet both have many issues, as they are lagging and slow during my work. I went to the IT department and they told me that I should have new machines. The purchasing department can buy them at a low price from the computer shop in the city centre because they are an authoritative resource of electronic appliances which seem rare trait, nowadays, in comparison with other shops. They open six days a week except for Friday. I am looking for to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Paula
Dear Mr John,

I am writing this letter you in order to provide me with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
laptop and printer for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
desk as I will be
officially
there on 1st of June.

I would like to have a business edition laptop and an HP
Possible spelling mistake found.
LaserJet
printer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
1st of June in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they are working
properly
and to copy my work from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
laptop to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my job requires rapid response to emails
as well
as extracting instant reports for managers,
yet
both have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues, as they are lagging and slow during my work. I went to the IT
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
department and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that I should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
machines.

The purchasing department can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them at a low price from the computer shop in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are an authoritative resource of electronic appliances which seem rare trait, nowadays,
in comparison
with other shops. They open six days a week
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Friday.

I am looking for to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Paula
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS letter You will be moving to a new office soon. Write a letter to the general manager to request some necessary equipment for your future office. In your letter say– What equipment will you need and when? – Explain why you will need it. – Suggest where to ge v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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