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you were hurt in a minor accident inside the a super market, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. write a letter to manger of the super market. In your letter1. say who you are2. give details about the accident3. suggest how the supermarket could v.2

you were hurt in a minor accident inside the a super market, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. write a letter to manger of the super market. In your letter1. say who you are2. give details about the accident3. suggest how the supermarket could v. 2
Dated: 29 July, 2017 Respected Sir, Subject line: Super market accident and request for implementation of preventive measures Greetings Sir, I hope the state missive finds you in the very best. My name Is Aatif Imtiaz and I am a banker by profession. Presently, I am working as Branch Manager in MCB Bank Limited, F-7 Jinnah Super Market Branch. It’s imperative to impart the notion that this letter entails the details of my accident in Jinnah Super Market. The reasons of the aforestated accident are highlighted here under. To begin with, it is being observed in the market that visitors usually bring their vehicles in the middle of the market for spot purchases instead of placing them in parking. Ultimately, this creates a lot of rush and anarchy within the market. On last Saturday, while leaving the office a car struck me on my legs left me in serious pain. Moreover, the management of the market could not be seen anywhere in controlling such a huge rush and to avoid such minor accidents. Furthermore, I would like state a request that there should be strict orders from market management for visitors to park their vehicles in parking area and nobody shall be allowed to take his/her vehicle within the market. In summation, I shall be grateful on my part if the suggestion supra can kindly be accommodated so that such incidents can be avoided. Hope to hearing from you real soon. Many thanks for your time. Yours sincerely, Aatif Imtiaz
Dated: 29
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "July 2017".
July, 2017


Respected Sir,

Subject line: Super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
and request for implementation of preventive measures

Greetings Sir, I hope the state missive finds you in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best. My name Is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aatif
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Imtiaz and
I am a banker by profession.
Presently
, I am working as Branch Manager in MCB Bank Limited, F-7 Jinnah Super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Market
Branch. It’s imperative to impart the notion that this letter entails the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
in Jinnah Super
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Market
. The reasons of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aforestated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
are highlighted
here under.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
being observed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
that visitors
usually
bring their vehicles in the middle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for spot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
instead
of placing them in parking.
Ultimately
, this creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rush and anarchy within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. On last Saturday, while leaving the office a car struck me on my legs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
me in serious pain.
Moreover
, the management of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
anywhere in controlling such a huge rush and to avoid such minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Furthermore
, I would like state a request that there should be strict orders from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
management for visitors to park their vehicles in parking area and nobody shall be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take his/her vehicle within the market.

In summation, I shall be grateful on my part if the suggestion supra can kindly
be accommodated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that such incidents can
be avoided
. Hope to hearing from you real
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
thanks for your time.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Aatif
Possible spelling mistake found.
Imtiaz
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter you were hurt in a minor accident inside the a super market, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. write a letter to manger of the super market. In your letter1. say who you are2. give details about the accident3. suggest how the supermarket could v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
249 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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