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You want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to the supervisior of department, describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job. v.2

You want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to the supervisior of department, describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction about my kitchen robot that I purchased in your center store last Saturday and with your poor customer service I received when I called your company to discuss the problem. The main problem with the robot is that its knives do not spin and work properly, when I turn the device on the blades start to turning itself round and then they suddenly stop spinning. . Luckily, I noticed that fault after short time, I called the your shop requesting fast action to be taken, however, the person who answered the phone replied that there was nothing he could do to resolve this problem. I would appreciate it if you could replace my robot for a new one of the same brand and features. I will kept the receipt my purchase for your replacement. Please contact me and inforn me know how you insist to resolve this problem. Your Faithfully. Steven
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction about my kitchen robot that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
in your center store last Saturday and with your poor customer service I received when I called your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to discuss the problem.

The main problem with the robot is that its knives do not spin and work
properly
, when I turn the device on the blades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to turning itself
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
round and
then they
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spinning.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Luckily, I noticed that fault after short time, I called
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "your shop" or "the shop"?
the your shop
requesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
action to
be taken
,
however
, the person who answered the phone replied that there was nothing he could do to resolve this problem.

I would appreciate it if you could replace my robot for a new one of the same brand and features. I will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "keep"
kept
the receipt my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
for your replacement.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
contact me and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inforn
me know how you
The usual collocation for "insist" is "on" not "to". Did you mean "insist on resolving"?
insist to resolve
this problem.

Your
Faithfully
.

Steven
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS letter You want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to the supervisior of department, describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You want to apply for the following job. Write a letter to the supervisior of department, describing your previous experience and explaining why you would be suitable for the job. v.2