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You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and aski v.4

You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and aski v. 4
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to seek your permission for the delay in joining my job for another two weeks. I am honoured that your organisation IDFC Mutual Funds has considered me a suitable candidate for the position of senior manager. I am very excited to join your organisation as it shall help in enhancing my skills, expertise and knowledge and aid me in developing a successful professional career. The date of my joining was from 1st of September, however, because of some prior commitments, I shall not be able to start my work from the aforementioned date. Since I am working as an assistant manager in McKinney company, my senior has requested me to work for extra one week in order to train the new employee appointed on my place and to hand over all the task and duties to him properly. I shall be highly obliged if you could allow men to start my work in your company from 11th of September. I hope you will understand my situation and grant me the approval for the delay in starting with my services. I apologise for the inconvenience that has been caused and I will make sure you won' t have to face any issues because of me in the future. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Prabhpreet Kaur
Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to seek your permission for the delay in joining my job for another two weeks.

I am
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
that your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
Possible spelling mistake found.
IDFC
Mutual Funds has considered me a suitable candidate for the position of senior manager.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
as it shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in enhancing my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, expertise and knowledge and aid me in developing a successful professional career.

The date of my joining was from 1st of September,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prior commitments, I shall not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my work from the aforementioned date. Since I am working as an assistant manager in McKinney
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, my senior has requested me to work for extra one week in order to train the new employee appointed on my place and to hand over all the task and duties to him
properly
.

I shall be
highly
obliged if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my work in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from 11th of September.

I hope you will understand my situation and grant me the approval for the delay in starting with my services.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologise' is British English.
apologise
for the inconvenience that has
been caused
and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure you
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face any issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of me in the future.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Prabhpreet
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kaur
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS letter You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and aski v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have been offered a job, asking you to start next week. You want the job very much but, because of a previous commitment, you want to delay the start for another two weeks. Write to the Manager, accepting the job, but explaining your situation and aski v.4