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ur friend has just moved to a new house you want to send him a gift Write a letter to your friend In your letter you should tell what you will send to him as gift why you chose it as gift how you will send it to him v.2

ur friend has just moved to a new house you want to send him a gift Write a letter to your friend In your letter you should tell what you will send to him as gift why you chose it as gift how you will send it to him v. 2
Dear James, How are you? Hope everything going well in your life. I am writing to you to courier a parcel to your residential address for your new success in your life. Initially, I was deliriously happy to know that you have finally purchased your dream house. There is no doubt, that your hardwork and dedication towards your work has put you on the top of a ladder. Apart from this, you have also organised a welcome party in your lovely house which unfortunately, I am unable to attend due to my official meeting scheduled on the same day Secondly, I have decided to parcel you a huge art piece to you for your achievement. Besides this, the art piece I have choosed for you is handpicked by me. As, when I was on the travel to a meeting in china. Additionally, I went to china town market and there I saw this magnificent art piece of white horses. It is really a mammoth and an unique piece. I just feel to keep it in my house but as you know I am still surviving in rented apartment. So, I thought it will best fit in your house. At the end of the day, you will astonished to know that the seller of this masterpiece told me some exciting benefits of this piece. Indeed, it keeps the negativity of house far away as well as rising horses inclined to mean more success and happiness in life. Lastly, I have made this shipments delivery directly into your residential address. Soon in couple of days you have to be ready to sign for a courier delivery as a valuable present from your dearest friend. Furthermore, I have attached the tracking slip with this letter to track it' s location. Do write to me also as well as your reaction towards this item. Best regards, Yasmin.
Dear James,

How are you? Hope everything going well in your life. I am writing to you to courier a parcel to your residential address for your new success in your life.

Initially
, I was
deliriously
happy to know that you have
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
your dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. There is no doubt, that your
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and dedication towards your work has put you on the top of a ladder. Apart from this, you have
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
a welcome party in your lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
which unfortunately, I am unable to attend due to my official meeting scheduled on the same
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
day


Secondly
, I have decided to parcel you a huge art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
to you for your achievement.
Besides
this, the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
I have
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
for you
is handpicked
by me. As, when I was on the travel to a meeting in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
.
Additionally
, I went to
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
town market and there I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
this magnificent art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
of white horses.

It is
really
a mammoth and
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
feel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as you know I am
still
surviving in rented apartment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it will best fit in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, you will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "astonish"
astonished
to know that the seller of this masterpiece
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exciting benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
piece
.
Indeed
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the negativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
far away
as well
as rising horses inclined to mean more success and happiness in life.

Lastly
, I have made this
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "shipments'" or "shipment's"?
shipments
delivery
directly
into your residential address.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
in
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
days you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for a courier delivery as a valuable present from your dearest friend.

Furthermore
, I have attached the tracking slip with this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s location.

Do write to me
also
as well
as your reaction towards this item.

Best regards,

Yasmin.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS letter ur friend has just moved to a new house you want to send him a gift Write a letter to your friend In your letter you should tell what you will send to him as gift why you chose it as gift how you will send it to him v. 2

Letter
  American English
11 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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