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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v.47

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v. 47
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with my current accommodation. I am a freshman living in a room in the college which I share with a sophomore. Although the intention of assigning a room to me and a sophomore is probably that I can perform better at the college by his help, the opposite is actually happening. Firstly, not only does he stay up till late at night, but he makes a lot of noise, making it impossible to get a good sleep at the room. The teachers have already complained for several times why I look so sleepy and distracted in the class. Secondly, he smokes every now and then in the room, being the worst thing for me because of my asthma. I would be happy if you could arrange for me to live in a room alone, or even assign me with a roommate who at least tries to understand that there is another human being who lives in the same room. I look forward to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Aidin Farughi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to express my dissatisfaction with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
accommodation.

I am a freshman living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in the college which I share with a sophomore. Although the intention of assigning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
to me and a sophomore is
probably
that I can perform better at the college by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, the opposite is actually happening.

Firstly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does he stay up till late at night,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
noise, making it impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sleep at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. The teachers have already
The usual collocation for "complained" is "about" not "for". Did you mean "complained about"?
complained for
several times why I look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sleepy and distracted in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Secondly
, he smokes every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, being the worst thing for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my asthma.

I would be happy if you could arrange for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
alone, or even assign me with a roommate who at least tries to understand that there is another human being who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the same room.

I look forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Aidin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Farughi
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer a v. 47

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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