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You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to study/work. v.3

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to study/work. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam: I would like to bring my accommodation issues, created specifically due to my roommate's irrational behaviours, to your immediate attention. I cannot concentrate on my studies and find it unbearable to live with such a housemate. I am hoping that you allow me to shift into another room soon. I have been living in a hostel with shared accommodation for the last one year. My previous roommate was extremely cooperative and friendly. There was nothing he was not willing to solve together with me as a roommate. However, the student I have been living with for the past two months is quite the opposite. He refuses to collaborate with me and doesn’t clean the room. He has frequent visitors and they smoke in the room. To make things worse, my roommate has bought a television lately and likes to watch the television all the time with a high volume. Even after my cordial requests, he refuses to cooperate and I find it extremely tough to live with such a roommate and study properly. I want to move out of this room as soon as possible and have a different roommate. I would prefer a single room with kitchen and bathroom facilities. If arranging a single room is not possible, I would like any room that is peaceful. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Eva Morris
Dear Sir or Madam:

I would like to bring my accommodation issues, created
specifically
due to my roommate's irrational
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, to your immediate attention. I cannot concentrate on my studies and find it unbearable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with such a housemate.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to shift into another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been living in a hostel with shared accommodation for the last one year. My previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
was
extremely
cooperative and friendly. There was nothing he was not willing to solve together with me as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
.
However
, the student I have been living with for the past two months is quite the opposite. He refuses to collaborate with me and doesn’t clean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. He has frequent visitors and they smoke in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things worse, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a television lately and likes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the television all the time with a high volume. Even after my cordial requests, he refuses to cooperate and I find it
extremely
tough to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
and study
properly
.

I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
. I would prefer a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
with kitchen and bathroom facilities. If arranging a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is not possible, I would like any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
that is
peaceful.

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Eva Morris
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS letter You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to study/work. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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