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You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, •give details of your course and your arrival/departure date•explain your accomm v.1

You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, •give details of your course and your arrival/departure date•explain your accomm v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you enquire about accommodation for short term in your hostel. Currently, I am pursuing MBA degree at Cal State University. I have been selected for short course on management skills in Quincy college. My short course will start on 1st September and will end on 31st December. I will be in the UK on 25 August and I will be leaving on 2nd January. I need accommodation starting from 25th August to 5th January. It should have independent bathroom and study room. It would be very nice if student living with me should have to study similar course. I really need independent room so at least I can study quietly. I also need more information about transportation from college to the hostel as I see it is little far from college. Would it possible to go to college using public transport? Would you provide any transport service for students from college to the hostel? I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Peter Allison
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about accommodation for short term in your hostel.
Currently
, I am pursuing MBA degree at Cal State University. I have
been selected
for short course on management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in Quincy college. My short course will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
on 1st September and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
on 31st December. I will be in the UK on 25 August and I will be leaving on 2nd January.

I need accommodation starting from 25th August to 5th January. It should have independent bathroom and study room. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nice if student living with me should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study similar course. I
really
need independent room
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
at least I can study
quietly
.

I
also
need more information about transportation from college to the hostel as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
far from college. Would
It seems that a verb is missing. Did you mean "it be possible"?
it possible
to go to college using public transport? Would you provide any transport service for students from college to the hostel?

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Peter Allison
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS letter You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, •give details of your course and your arrival/departure date•explain your accomm v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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