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You recently traveled on the local bus service in your town. You think the driver drove badly and was rude to the passengers. Write a letter to the manager of the local bus service. In your letterintroduce yourself and say when the incident happeneddescri v.2

You recently traveled on the local bus service in your town. You think the driver drove badly and was rude to the passengers. Write a letter to the manager of the local bus service. In your letterintroduce yourself and say when the incident happeneddescri v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you to complain about the performance of one of your bus drivers. I am a student at Shiraz University and have just moved in to Shiraz since the beginning of the fall. I had taken a bus from university to the dormitory on 10th of August when I witnessed some disturbing behavior from Mr. Jalili; I checked his identification tag since I wanted to report him and did not want you to mistake him with someone else. Firstly, he was extremely impolite as he swore and shouted at other drivers on the road all the way from my source to the destination. Secondly, he did not pay enough attention to the road and pulled the break twice suddenly to prevent crashing into other vehicles. There was an elderly on the bus who lost his balance and fell to the ground after one of the breaks. When the driver was confronted by other passengers about his careless driving, he started insulting the complainers and threatening them that he would make them get off the bus if they continued protesting. I would like you to impose a fine for Mr. Jalili and organize some behavioral classes for your employees to improve their moral and social values. In addition, it would be beneficial to closely monitor the drivers who break the law and you receive complains about them and fire those who keep repeating behaving inappropriately. I hope you reprimand the guilty driver and take precautionary measures to prevent similar incidents. Yours Faithfully, Behnaz Yousefi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to complain about the performance of one of your bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. I am a student at Shiraz University and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
in to Shiraz since the beginning of the fall.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had taken a bus from university to the dormitory on 10th of August when I witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disturbing behavior from Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jalili
; I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
his identification tag since I wanted to report him and did not want you to mistake him with someone else.

Firstly
, he was
extremely
impolite as he swore and shouted at other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
on the road all the way from my source to the destination.
Secondly
, he did not pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to the road and pulled the break twice
suddenly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crashing into other vehicles. There was an elderly on the bus who lost his balance and fell to the ground after one of the breaks. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
was confronted
by other passengers about his careless driving, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
insulting the complainers and threatening them that he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
off the bus if they continued protesting.

I would like you to impose a fine for Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jalili
and organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
behavioral classes for your employees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their moral and social values.
In addition
, it would be beneficial to
closely
monitor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
who break the law and you receive complains about them and fire those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
repeating behaving
inappropriately
.

I hope you reprimand the guilty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
and take precautionary measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
similar incidents.

Yours
Faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Behnaz
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yousefi
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently traveled on the local bus service in your town. You think the driver drove badly and was rude to the passengers. Write a letter to the manager of the local bus service. In your letterintroduce yourself and say when the incident happeneddescri v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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