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You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In your letter: give details about the order you madeexplain what was wrong with the itemtell the company what you want them t v.6

You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In your letter: give details about the order you madeexplain what was wrong with the itemtell the company what you want them t v. 6
Respected Sir or Madam, My self Arshdeepsingh, a resident of Distt Faridkot, I am writing this letter to bring your attention upon my smart phone Samsung Galaxy S 4 which had been recently ordered by me from your online shop. Firstly, I would like to tell you that, I had ordered this phone last month on 14th January 2018. I was looking forward very curiously to receiving the phone and start using it but when the phone finally arrived after two days later Unfortunately, Having uncovered the phone, I found that the phone screen was broken. I used my VISA credit card to pay for the order, it was not in the good condition. I am disappointed with your service. I hope you will consider upon my inconvenience and take appropriate action to replace a new mobile phone. Otherwise refund my whole money in a same bank account. Yours faithfully, Arshdeep singh
Respected Sir or Madam,

My self
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arshdeepsingh
, a resident of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Distt
Possible spelling mistake found.
Faridkot
, I am writing this letter to bring your attention upon my smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
Samsung Galaxy S 4 which had been recently ordered by me from your online shop.

Firstly
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that, I had ordered this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
last month on 14th January 2018. I was looking forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curiously
to receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
finally
arrived after two days later Unfortunately, Having uncovered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, I found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
screen
was broken
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
my VISA credit card to pay for the order, it was not in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am disappointed
with your service.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope you will consider upon my inconvenience and take appropriate action to replace a new mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
refund my whole money in a same bank account.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Arshdeep
Possible spelling mistake found.
singh
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was damaged. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item. In your letter: give details about the order you madeexplain what was wrong with the itemtell the company what you want them t v. 6

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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