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You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived, it was damaged. v. 2

Dear Sir or Madam, I am James Smith, a resident of Aurora, Illinois, have recently ordered a smartphone - Samsung Galaxy Note Edge, from your online shop. Unfortunately, when I unwrapped the phone, I found that the phone screen was broken and the stylus was missing. I am writing to notify you of the problem and to replace my product with a fresh one. I placed the order on 15th May 2019 from my home and my invoice number is SAI-25478ASNE. I used my VISA credit card to pay for the order. I was looking forward to receiving the phone and start using it but when the phone finally arrived two days later, it was not in the condition it should have been. The main screen was smashed, and I could not find the stylus in the box. This is quite unexpected and as a regular customer, I am disappointed with your service. Please inform me how can I replace the phone, as the warranty covers it, and get a fresh one as early as possible? Should I visit one of your retail shops? Thanks in advance for your cooperation and I would like you to take the necessary measure so that it does not repeat in the future. Yours faithfully, James Smith

IELTS letter You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived, it was damaged. v.2

Dear Sir or Madam, I am James Smith, a resident of Aurora, Illinois, have recently ordered a smartphone
-
Samsung Galaxy Note Edge, from your online shop. Unfortunately, when I unwrapped the
phone
, I found that the
phone
screen
was broken
and the stylus was missing. I am writing to notify you of the problem and to replace my product with a fresh one. I placed the order on 15th May 2019 from my home and my invoice number is SAI-25478ASNE.
I
used
my VISA credit card to pay for the order.
I
was looking forward to receiving the
phone
and
start
using it
but
when the
phone
finally
arrived two days later, it was not in the condition it should have been. The main screen
was smashed
, and I could not find the stylus in the box. This is quite unexpected and as a regular customer, I
am disappointed
with your service.
Please
inform me how can I replace the
phone
, as the warranty covers it, and
get
a fresh one as early as possible? Should I visit one of your retail shops? Thanks in advance for your cooperation and I would like you to take the necessary measure
so
that it does not repeat in the future. Yours
faithfully
, James Smith
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Letter
7 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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