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You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v.6

You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v. 6
Dear Sir or Madam, I took my computer to your repair shop recently and I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the repair work your technician did on my computer’s heatsink. I suggest they should properly diagnose the problems before fixing any computer and charging money to a customer. I took my computer to your store on 07th December because of an overheating issue with it. After careful inspections, one of your technicians determined the problem to be an old heatsink that could no longer keep the processor cool. I was told that the problem will be fixed and that my computer will no longer heat up. I paid $80 for the repair work and another $35 for a new heatsink. However, when I brought the computer home, the problem still persisted, and my computer was heating up even more than before. You can understand my shock when I realised that I travelled 10 miles and paid your store $115 for nothing. My intention in writing this letter is to ask you to install a brand new heatsink- that can keep the processor cool, at no extra charge. I can come by and bring my computer on Monday morning if it suits you. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Sameed Qureshi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I took my computer to your repair shop
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
recently and
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the repair work your technician did on my computer’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
heatsink
. I suggest they should
properly
diagnose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
fixing any computer and charging money to a customer.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
took my computer to your store on 07th December
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an overheating issue with it. After careful inspections, one of your technicians determined the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
heatsink
that could no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the processor cool. I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
and that my computer will no longer heat up. I paid $80 for the repair work and another $35 for a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
heatsink
.

However
, when I brought the computer home, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
still
persisted, and my computer was heating up even more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. You can understand my shock when I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that I travelled
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 miles
and paid your store $115 for nothing.

My intention in writing this letter is to ask you to install a brand new
Possible spelling mistake found.
heatsink
- that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the processor cool, at no extra charge. I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by and bring my computer on Monday morning if it suits you.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sameed
Qureshi
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v. 6

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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