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You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v.4

You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v. 4
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently taken your PC repairing service but my experience was dismaying. I am hoping that you would take the necessary actions to improve your service quality and arrange my computer to be properly fixed this time. My computer had some problems including slow startup and sudden blue screen and to have those issues resolved, I took it to your repair shop on 18th March. I got a call on 22nd May from your store and your staff claimed that the issues were tackled. They charged me $95 and I took my computer home that evening. Unfortunately, those problems were not properly fixed as they reappeared. I work from home and have important projects on hand. Your poor service has wasted my time, money and put me in a difficult situation to handle project deadlines. As a regular customer and since I have already paid my service charge, I need my computer fixed by tomorrow. So, please make arrangements to repair it by your personnel as soon as possible. I am looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest. Yours faithfully, Ali Hosseini
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently taken your PC repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my experience was dismaying. I am hoping that you would take the necessary actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
quality and arrange my computer to be
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
this time.

My computer had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems including slow startup and sudden blue screen and to have those issues resolved, I took it to your repair shop on 18th March. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a call on 22nd May from your store and your staff claimed that the issues
were tackled
. They charged me $95 and I took my computer home that evening. Unfortunately, those problems were not
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
as they reappeared. I work from home and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
projects on hand. Your poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
has wasted my time, money and put me in a difficult situation to handle project deadlines.

As a regular customer and since I have already paid my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
charge, I need my computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by tomorrow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
arrangements to repair it by your personnel as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

I am looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest.

Yours
faithfully
,

Ali Hosseini
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS letter You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. v. 4

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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