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You are employed full-time and also doing a part-time evening course. You are not able to continue the course. v.2

You are employed full-time and also doing a part-time evening course. You are not able to continue the course. v. 2
Dear Mr Phillip, I am a pupil of your evening Spanish language course in which I got enrolled last week. However, I will not be able to continue the course due to a sudden foreign official tour. I am hoping that you would allow me to intake it from next semester. I am working in the risk management division of Prime Bank Limited. This bank has a subsidiary company in Hong Kong where an incident has been reported by the governing authority. For that, I will have to travel to Hong Kong next week with a team to analyze the whole situation, scrutinise the allegations against the company and take appropriate measures. The whole process might take more than two months, and I cannot continue my evening language course under your supervision for that. Under the circumstances, I would like to request you to transfer me to the next semester and allow me to take the course without any further registration. Your cooperation in this regard will be highly appreciated. Yours sincerely, Safayet Ullah
Dear Mr Phillip,

I am a pupil of your evening Spanish language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
enrolled last week.
However
, I will not be able to continue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
due to a sudden foreign official tour. I am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to intake it from
next
semester.

I am working in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
management division of Prime Bank Limited. This bank has a subsidiary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Hong Kong where an incident has
been reported
by the governing authority. For that, I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to Hong Kong
next
week with a team to analyze the whole situation,
Possible spelling mistake. 'scrutinise' is British English.
scrutinise
the allegations against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and take appropriate measures. The whole process might take more than two months, and I cannot continue my evening language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
under your supervision for that.

Under the circumstances, I would like to request you to transfer me to the
next
semester and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
without any
further
registration.

Your cooperation in this regard will be
highly
appreciated.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Safayet
Ullah
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You are employed full-time and also doing a part-time evening course. You are not able to continue the course. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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