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For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v.2

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 2
Dear Mr Martin, I have been an exultant member of your club for more than 2 years. I first enrolled as a member in 2017 and next year my membership was upgraded to Silver Associate with a monthly fee of $50, paid every first Monday of the month. I regret to inform you that I can no longer continue my membership in the club as I will relocate to a different city soon. This club has given me numerous benefits by providing activities, such as yoga classes that I am really fond of, as well as access to the gymnasium and swimming pool. Not to mention that there are always generous discounts on the food in the buffet restaurant. I have truly enjoyed my access to the library that helped me read many books. Sadly, given my circumstances, I would have to discontinue my membership at this club. The reason is that I will soon be moving to another city. Thus, I would no longer be able to attend any activities held in this place. If I am not mistaken, my $250 deposit will be returned to me upon membership cancellation. Please advise should there be any particular form that I need to fill in. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Helen Kelly
Dear Mr Martin,

I have been an exultant member of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
for more than 2 years. I
first
enrolled as a member in 2017 and
next
year my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
was upgraded
to Silver Associate with a monthly fee of $50, paid every
first
Monday of the month.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
regret to inform you that I can no longer continue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
as I will relocate to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me numerous benefits by providing activities, such as yoga classes that I am
really
fond of,
as well
as access to the gymnasium and swimming pool. Not to mention that there are always generous discounts on the food in the buffet restaurant. I have
truly
enjoyed my access to the library that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
books.

Sadly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
my circumstances, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discontinue my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
. The reason is that I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be moving to another city.
Thus
, I would no longer be able to attend any activities held in this place. If I am not mistaken, my $250 deposit will
be returned
to me upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
cancellation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
advise should there be any particular form that I need to fill in.

Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours
sincerely
,

Helen Kelly
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
217 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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