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you recently changed job and you want to tell a person who you used to work with about your change of job write a letter to that person in your letter describe your new job explain whether you think it was a good idea to change job suggest that you meet a v.2

you recently changed job and you want to tell a person who you used to work with about your change of job write a letter to that person in your letter describe your new job explain whether you think it was a good idea to change job suggest that you meet a v. 2
Dear Sue, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to tell you about my new job. As you know, after my daughter is born, my salary didn’t satisfy all my family’s desires. So, I had to work evening in order that I can fulfill all our needs or change my career. At first, I was a little uncertain about that. But, consulting with my parents and husband, I found that it is well worth the effort. Because not only does my new job give me the opportunity to progress, but also the new company offers some profits such as transfer, lunch and shopping token. And, all of them can cut down some of my excessive cost. My new career is in accordance with< span class=" hiddenGrammarError" pre=" career " > < /span> the previous one. Besides that, I am responsible for going to other countries and organize the company meeting with other enterprises, through which I can achieve delightful< span class=" hiddenSuggestion" pre=" and " > < /span> and useful experiences. I have got some news to tell you, so it would be great if we could see each other next Friday. I look forward to catching up with you soon. All the best, Helia
Dear Sue,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job. As you know, after my daughter
is born
, my salary didn’t satisfy all my family’s desires.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I had to work evening in order that I can fulfill all our needs or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my career.

At
first
, I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
uncertain about that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, consulting with my parents and husband, I found that it is well worth the effort.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job give me the opportunity to progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profits such as transfer, lunch and shopping token. And, all of them can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my excessive cost.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
career is in accordance
Possible spelling mistake found.
with&lt
; span
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
=
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
hiddenGrammarError&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
=
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; career
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
; /
Possible spelling mistake found.
span&gt
; the previous one.
Besides
that, I am responsible for going to other countries and organize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
meeting with other enterprises, through which I can achieve
Possible spelling mistake found.
delightful&lt
; span
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
=
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
hiddenSuggestion&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
=
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; and
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&gt
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
&lt
; /
Possible spelling mistake found.
span&gt
; and useful experiences. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be great if we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each other
next
Friday.

I look forward to catching up with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

All the best,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Helia
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS letter you recently changed job and you want to tell a person who you used to work with about your change of job write a letter to that person in your letter describe your new job explain whether you think it was a good idea to change job suggest that you meet a v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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